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TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR MOM’S COMING FROM

10. Realize that she’s concerned about your safety and well-being. As a parent, your mom will always be concerned about your well-being. When you have plans to go out with friends, give her your game plan. Tell her who will be with you, where you’ll be, and when she can expect you home.

11. Understand that a lot of what the two of you are going through now is new for your mom, too. When you were younger, your relationship with your mom involved more of a parent/child dynamic. Now that you’re older, your mom’s having to adjust to the fact that you’re becoming your own person.

HELP DEFUSE HOT TOPICS

12. Homework. You want to go out with your girlfriends after school or watch your favorite afternoon soap, and your mom asks the inevitable, “When are you planning to do your homework?” Rather than being vague and responding with “Later,” explain your plan — “I’ll be home at 6, and I plan to read two chapters before dinner.” Or, “I have study hall tomorrow morning, and that’s when I plan to get it done.”

13. Grades. If your mom seems overly concerned about your grades, discuss with her what her idea of an acceptable grade is. If you’re getting good grades, reassure her that you’re doing fine in your classes. If your grades aren’t that great, consider why. Are you motivated? Are you studying hard enough? Do you have trouble understanding the subject matter? Keep her posted, and she’s less likely to pester!

14. Your room. If neatness is an issue, ask if it’s okay to keep your mess confined to your room. Promise that you won’t leave your stuff around the rest of the house.

15. Chores. To keep your mom mellow, create a chart that shows what you need to do and when you expect to have it done. Keep track of your tasks, and she’ll see that you’re committed to completing your chores.

16. Friends. If your mom dislikes your friends or your boyfriend, try to determine what worries her about them. You may be ignoring some serious faults, or she may be blowing certain qualities out of proportion.

17. Sex. If your mom gets upset about the subject of sex, reassure her that you’re aware of the risks and responsibilities that are part of being sexually involved with someone. Be sure to turn to her for advice and information on this subject. Her concern is valid. Unprotected sex can be fatal.

18. Drugs. Reassure your mom that you know drugs are dangerous. Let her know that you are not a drug user. If she knows that you intend to steer clear of alcohol and and drugs, your mom will be less inclined to worry needlessly.

19. Clothes. You want to wear your oversized jeans; your mom hates them. “Parents see children as an extension of themselves, and they may be embarrassed by what you do,” explains Mary Pender Greene, the Director of Group Treatment at the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services in New York City. Try to arrive at a compromise. For example, agree to wear your funkier clothes when you’re with your friends, but not when you’re visiting your grandmother.

20. Money. Negotiate an allowance with your mom. Discuss why you need the money. Come up with a budget for basics (food, school supplies) and extras (CDs, entertainment). If you feel you need more money than your parents are willing to budget for you, consider ways you can add to your income. Look into getting a weekend job or baby-sitting.

MAKE LIFE SMOOTHER

21. Set up clear ground rules with her. To avoid misunderstandings and potential arguments, have guidelines that you agree to adhere to.

22. Be able to say you’re sorry, and admit when you’re wrong. You’ll earn your mom’s respect — and more freedoms — when she sees you taking responsibility for your actions.

23. Realize that struggles are normal. “Part of your fighting is to break away and establish your own identity,” explains Mary Pender Greene. You might not butt heads as much if you look at individual situations and determine if you really disagree with her or you’re just trying to provoke her.

24. Let your parents know what’s going on in you life. “You don’t have to tell them everything,” explains Dr. Brenda Cline, Chief Psychologist of the Philadelphia Child Guidance Center. “But the more they know, the clearer they’ll be about your sense of judgment.” Talk to them about drugs, sex, violence, and AIDS. “The more knowledgeable they see you are, the less worried they’ll feel, and the more likely to give you more freedom.”

25. If you can’t talk to your mom, go to a friend’s mom or an older relative you trust, and ask for help in communicating with your mom. This may help your mom recognize that you take the relationship the two of you share seriously.

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Cool Kids

In high school, being one of the cool kids might seem like an important life goal, but it’s important to keep things in perspective. In the long run, your high school years are only what you make of them. In the end, most of what you take from high school is just memories and some education. Too many people look back at their high school days and wish they’d done things differently. In high school, everyone just assumes that the cool kids will be the most successful in life because everyone admires them. However, just being one of the cool kids doesn’t count for much after high school. You certainly can’t put on your resume that you were one of the cool kids in high school. However, some cool kids do benefit somewhat from their cool kid status later in life. If you’re a cool kid because you’re nice to people and everyone likes you, being cool could open a lot of doors for you in the future.

I’m Not Cool

Worried that you’re not cool? That could be one of your biggest problems. With confidence comes coolness and with coolness comes confidence, so telling yourself “i’m not cool” won’t help you to become one of the cool kids. If someone convinces themselves that they’re not cool, they’re more likely to act like they’re not cool, only making matters worse. Keep in mind that ‘coolness’ is a very abstract concept, so there’s lots of room for different kinds of cool. A perfect example is The Dude from the Big Lebowski. The Dude is perhaps the coolest fictional character ever to have lived. But the Dude is not your typical cool guy. He is unemployed, can’t pay the rent, lives in a filthy apartment, doesn’t have a girlfriend, is likely an alcoholic, and spends all his spare time bowling. What he does have is an amazing attitude. The dude is cool about everything. Though he might occasionally utter ‘that’s not cool, man’, you’d never hear the dud saying, ‘I’m not cool’. That would be absurd. O next time you’re thinking to yourself, ‘wow, I’m not cool at all’, just stop right there and think of The Dude.

How to Be Cool

There are no ‘five easy step’ books on how to be cool. The key to being cool is having confidence. If you believe that you’re cool., other people will follow. One thing that definitely won’t help you to be cool is reading an instruction manual on how to be cool. In fact, that would be a very uncool thing to do. Being cool isn’t really an acquired skill, but if you’re really desperate to learn how to be cool, perhaps you should think of someone who you think is cool, like cool and luke for instance, and emulate that person. But be careful; making snotty remarks to your teachers could land you in some trouble.

Cool Haircuts

One of the best ways to kick start your cool kid career is to get a cool haircut. Cool haircuts aren’t easy to come by unless you’ve got an amazing hairdresser or you cut your hair yourself. Cool haircuts are usually the ones that suit your face and match your style best. A good hairstylist will find a cool haircut for you and show you how to style it yourself. There are also a lot of cool haircuts you can do yourself. I find that it’s much easier to cut my own hair when it’s long because I can see it better. For an entirely new look, why not dye your hair at home to fire up your new cool haircut.

Cool Teens

Cool teens are usually those who aren’t too caught up in trying to be cool. Some of the following cool teens have accomplished more in their teenage years than many people accomplish in a lifetime. One such cool teen is Gilles Sunu, a sixteen year old French soccer player who was signed to arsenal this summer for almost a million English pounds. Other cool teens are accomplished opera singers and physics geniuses. Garry Kasparov was another cool teen who became the world chess champion. It just shows you that becoming a cool teen isn’t about trying to be cool, but about being passionate about something and becoming the best at it.

Cool Hand Luke

Cool Hand Luke was a novel that was made into a movie starring Paul Newman. The movie was about a man, cool hand luke, who was sent to prison for cutting the heads off parking meters in a small town. His fellow prisoners began to admire cool hand luke for his cool attitude. So how does Luke keep his cool? Cool hand luke was both confident and witty and it was really the other prisoners that made him the cool guy because they admired him so much for standing up to the prison guards.

Cool Teen Bedrooms

Chances are, the bedroom in any book or website advertising ‘cool teen bedrooms’, aren’t cool. Of course you can make any room cool if you put a big screen TV, a fridge, and a good speaker system. Here are a few pointers to steer clear of those very not cool teen bedrooms. Cool teen bedrooms don’t have themes. If your ‘cool teen bedroom’ magazine tells you your teenager will just love a cool superman theme bedroom, run it by your teenager first. They may not be on the same page as a middle-age interior decorator. Though a foam chair shaped like a shoe might seem like the perfect accent for you teenage girl’s cool teen bedroom, it never hurts to ask your teen beforehand. They might have some cool teen bedroom decorating ideas of their own.

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