Yes, you love your mom, but lately everything she does makes you want to scream! Before you lose your cool, take a deep breath and follow these tips!
COMMUNICATE
1. Build a positive relationship. Suggest and plan family activities, and do fun things together. This’ll make it easier to deal with your mom when you’re not seeing eye-to-eye. Both of you are more likely to settle your differences if you don’t see each other as “the enemy.”
2. Take a problem-solving approach to conflicts. Try to negotiate a solution both of you can live with, and avoid thinking in terms of a winner and a loser. Don’t operate with an all-or-nothing outlook. If she says no to your request to go to a late show at the movies, consider an earlier show.
3. Don’t say, “My friends can, why can’t I?” Instead, negotiate more on the merits of your own behavior. Show your mom you’ve earned certain privileges.
4. Be aware of what you’re saying—and how you’re saying it. Instead of “You never let me…,” approach her with an “I” statement, like “I’d like to….” You’ll come across less whiny and more responsible.
5. Treat your mom with respect. No matter how frustrated you become with her, avoid name-calling and cruel behavior. Below-the-belt tactics won’t help in improving your relationship with her.
6. Choose the right time to bring things up with her. If your mom is in a bad mood, has had an especially stressful day, or seems preoccupied, you may be better off postponing a heavy-duty discussion. If you need to speak to her about something important, set up a time to talk that works well for both of you.
7. Don’t be accusatory or approach your mom when you’re super upset. You want to convey that you’re mature in how you handle things. Stomping out of the room screaming, “You just don’t understand. I hate you!” only proves that you’re capable of throwing a childish fit. Talk to her in a sane, calm manner, and if things get heated, take a time-out.
8. Don’t do things just to provoke her. Yeah, you may feel satisfied for a few minutes, but chances are, she’ll react by cutting back on your freedoms.
9. Do show your mom that you’re true to your word. If she says you can go to a concert if you’re home by midnight, and you agree to that stipulation, walk the walk. If you arrive home late, she’s less likely to believe you’ll keep your promises in the future.
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