Do:
• Look approachable. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren’t. Give people a chance to warm up to you.
• If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice. Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like “Well, she’s always been nice to me, so I don’t know” or “Maybe he has personal issues that we don’t know about–who knows?”
• Be sure to keep in touch with your old friends—you don’t want them to think you’ve forgotten about them just because you’re making new ones. Don’t just hang out with one group all the time, either. Try and alternate a fair amount between the groups, so that people get the impression that you can get along with everyone. Don’t exclude anyone. Enemies and popularity don’t mix.
Don’t
• Guard your privacy. When everyone knows you, it means that there’s a greater likelihood of nosiness and gossip. Think of how famous celebrities have someone prying into their personal lives at all times (inquiring minds want to know). You’ll also need to be prepared for people starting conversations with you while you’re running errands or sitting down reading a book at the park. It comes with the package. Handle it gracefully.
• Don’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can control is how you treat others.
• Don’t be disappointed if you fail. Popularity can be easy for some and practically impossible for others. There are many factors which can prevent a person from being outgoing and well-liked, but that does not mean the person is worth any less.
• Realize that popularity has its ups and downs, and may fade very quickly when you start at a new school or job. Every situation is different, and sometimes you need to start over.
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